The Courage in Overcoming Cancer

Last night I got to experience one of the most impactful moments of my life. A panel of eight people spoke on behalf of their experiences with breast cancer; one breast cancer oncologist, one surgeon, one husband whose wife passed away from it, and five survivors of breast cancer. 

If I am being honest, I have never known much about breast cancer, nor have I ever known anyone impacted by it, up until about five months ago. I came to Syracuse for multiple reasons, but one of the main factors in my decision was to play with Tiana Mangakahia, Syracuse’s point guard who averaged about eight assists a game. I was excited to play with a player so selfless and fearless. We instantly clicked on my visit and she quickly became of my best friends. A little over two weeks of knowing her, we were Facetiming and texting every day. The calls and texts became a little slower in mid-June. She texted me letting me know she missed me and was going through some things, but that she’d call me to tell me everything soon. Of course, I thought nothing of it until a whole week went by and she was on her way to Boston for another doctor’s appointment. My mind assumed the worst. On June 25 I found out I was accepted into grad school and would need to leave the next day in order to make it to summer school on time. Tiana was so excited, and our Facetime call consisted of us celebrating my acceptance into school and her breaking the news to me that she had cancer. 

I think because Tiana is so positive and strong willed, it is hard for others to understand what breast cancer patients really go through. I remember going to play pick up one Friday in the summer and I was mentally and physically exhausted. I did not want to play that day. My whole demeanor and spirit changed when I saw Tiana laced up with basketball shoes and embracing me with a hug. She had just finished chemo a few hours before and now was dishing no look dimes with the team with a smile on her face. She inspired me that day. Anytime I feel tired or have the urge to complain in my mind, I fight it back with truth and positivity. This is nothing to be taken for granted. If Tiana can cross people up and get buckets on the court a few hours after chemo against a ton of college boys, I can get up and be grateful for my opportunity to play and be a part of one of the greatest programs in women’s basketball history. 

Going into this panel, I had no idea what to expect. I saw Titsbits on the website as one of the Newhouse Speaks events. I honestly don’t know if I would have been interested in going to a talk about breast cancer if I didn’t know someone who was living through it. I was blown away with the vulnerability, transparency, authenticity and courage that each person on the panel exemplified. I couldn’t stop thinking about Tiana. I had no idea. All of the trauma, the anxiety and the mental toll on top of the physical tear that these women go through, it ripped my heart into pieces. I could feel myself slip into their shoes for those two hours. If you knew Tiana, you’d never know even a quarter of all that was said in the panel, because she never makes any of it about herself. Every time I talk to her to see how she is, she always asks me how I am doing with sincerity. 

There were a couple of things said within the panel that stuck out to me, which I want to highlight in this blog post. I can only speak as a friend to someone who has been diagnosed with cancer, overcame it, successfully came out of a double mastectomy and days later is asking me to go to chick-fil-a. I can’t speak for Tiana or for any of the women, doctors or the husband on the panel, but getting insight to their frustrations and traumas changed my perspective and my heart forever. 

Two highlighting topics spoken about:

1)    The mental health of cancer patients is not highlighted enough. 

Each woman on the panel talked about the anxiety they’d get from each scan, waiting for results and going into radiation every day. Outsiders like me think losing their hair or parts of these women getting amputated are the traumas they endure, but they emphasized on the mental aspects that nobody else sees. How they view themselves in the mirror, their femininity and womanhood, paranoia when they cough or sneeze and loved ones leaving their lives in result of their cancer. These are a few of the fears and traumas these women go through. 

When asked about the mental aspects of her experiences through defeating cancer, Tiana said, “throughout this whole process, it was a struggle, however I have definitely become emotionally and mentally stronger. It has been a roller coaster and changed me as an individual in a better way. Beating cancer empowers me and I know no matter what comes at me or what happens in my life, I will be able to get through it.” 

These women are resilient. They are courageous. They had no choice but to take on fear head on for their families, children, siblings, parents and themselves. What I think is so amazing about each of these people is, their stories are so powerful that they inspired a 22-year-old girl who stopped in to hear about breast cancer to understand her friend’s experience better. They have no idea how many thousands of people they are inspiring and empowering to be fighters and overcomers. I don’t understand cancer or why people have to go through it. I don’t understand why Tiana got cancer or why her Final Four run as the best point guard in the country had to be put on pause. I held a lot of anger and bitterness for a while about a lot of questions I didn’t understand, but what I do know is, none of this was a waste. These tears, the experiences that T and other cancer patients go through, it is not for nothing. There is purpose in the pain, and they are inspiring people all across the country because of their courage and determination. 

2)    Most of fundraising for breast cancer doesn’t go to research for the causes.

Each woman on the panel was fired up about this topic. They hated “pinktober” and emphasized that if you want to help, donate to research in what causes breast cancer, not into the wrist bands and pink ribbons. I had no idea. I have pink ribbon socks, pink shirts to support breast cancer awareness and have even given money to random callers asking if I’d donate (don’t ask, I have a hard time saying no). They wanted to make sure everyone knew that none of these things are wrong and the money that goes towards having intelligent doctors, high technology and facilities are needed and appreciated, but they wanted people to stop “selling their disease.” As a Public Relations student, it made me realize that when companies want to bring breast cancer awareness, we have to step into a role of authenticity and empathy for anyone involved with this disease. This should never be a move to make money or boost a company’s reputation, but rather to highlight the stories and lives of breast cancer survivors and their loved ones. This is so much more than a pink wrist band, a few dollars donated at Walgreens or a pink game where teams get to wear pink jerseys and head bands. This is a fight for life. This is the season that was stripped away from Tiana, the heart ache that parents watch their children go through, the husband that lost the love of his life and now travels the country to tell her story. This is reality and we have to step outside of ourselves to help these women and their families. As PR managers, we have the ability to bring light of stories that may still be in the dark and connect companies with money and resources to empower women affected. We can bring authenticity and compassion into companies who want to contribute to research in what causes breast cancer and provide support for breast cancer patients and their families. 

I was greatly impacted by the vulnerability each person in the panel shared and have been inspired to not just be a loyal friend to Tiana, but to make sure to bring authenticity into the PR field. I want to make sure not sell other people’s stories for my benefit, but to highlight some of the most powerful stories that can change other’s lives in a positive direction.